Confessions of a Wounded Soul

Being a pastor is hard. I know that only a few of my colleagues would make that admission, but after more than 30 years in the ministry I'm not afraid to admit that. I love the church and have given my entire adult life to its nurture and growth. Unlike some, I have not and will never give up on the church...but I sometimes wonder if I have the strength to finish the course.

This week's offering from the stack reflect's this one man's struggle to stay the course.

A Servant’s Lament

When did my joy

Slip away?

Was it in the shuffling

Of papers,

The ringing of the phone?

Or the million minute details?

When did your voice

Get drowned out?

Was it in the caustic

Casual remarks?

Or the meeting after meeting

After meeting?

Where did I

Lose sight of you?

Was it in the hospital

Or the nursing home

Or the thousands of

Encouragement visits

With faithless flocks?

I love the church,

The body of Christ

But it demands a massive

Price

But that doesn’t matter

I love it so...

So I press on.

Hear my cry

Give me strength

Give me sight

Help me keep pressing

On through the night.

2012 

When All of Life is Worship

I have been a follower of Christ (yes, I'm a Christian!) since I was 10 years old. I have always loved worship.There's something special in the gathering of the people of God. I grow excited when I think of heaven and the worship that will take place there...a worship with a scope and power that I can only imagine.

But that doesn't stop me from trying....

Offering

What words can describe

Your glory.

That glory from which

Sin and darkness

Hide.

Bathed in radiance

The angels worship

Lifting hearts

And hands

Praise pouring from their lips

I can do nothing

Except fall to my knees

Offering my heart

For You to do as you please

I am yours

2012

A Long and Winding Road

It goes without saying that the life of faith is a difficult one. I have discovered that my more recent works, those in the last 10 years or so, reflect that difficulty more than the earlier ones. I guess that's a function of age and my health struggles.

At any rate....here's one from 2012.

Following

My eyes

Are dim

And my muscles ache.

The years have

Taken a toll too great.

But I will not bow

To time or age,

I will not stop

Or turn aside,

I will not falter,

Will not fail

For there are still

  New heights to scale.

My Savior gave

His life for me,

Shed His blood

On Calvary.

How can I give any less

To Him than my very best?

So on I go,

Taking another step

Following Him. 

Waiting and Watching....Hoping

Oddly enough, I can't remember writing this one so I can't give you any background to this particular poem. I would guess, based on the structure and message, that this was written sometime during my college years (1978-1982). But I still like the message. 

My Turn

Lord,

Open the door

And I will go.

Give me

The words

And I will speak.

Give me

The strength

And I will serve.

Give me

The heart

And I will love.

Let the stones

Be silent,

Mute the heavens

So that I might

Raise my life

In praise.

I love you

Lord God.

Just a Poem

No introduction. No witty remarks....just a poem.

Moving On

Lord

Give me strength

For one more step.

My feet are almost as heavy

As my eyelids.

I’m washed

In my own tears,

Wondering,

New questions

For old problems.

I wonder

If my faith

Is really faith at all.

You are so big,

I’m so small.

Can You, do You

Hear my cry?

Will you answer?

Or is it

Will I hear?